She ain't no Betty White

He had been the City Treasurer for 28 years. Misplacing money in secret bank accounts, opening credit cards and forgetting about balances due, the utilities and cable went unpaid and it was all presumably attributed to him getting older. I wish we had caught what was really happening. By the time we grew suspicious, he was getting lost driving around town only a few miles from his home. Or he would drive 45 minutes to the river, thinking his old beach house was still waiting for him.

He was always honest and could be a bit  very acerbic when he had a strong opinion. He had a very strong opinion regarding his Sister-In-Law. She was wife number 3 or 4 (I think) of grandmommy’s younger brother. Her name was Betty.

Sunday afternoons we had lunch at the grandparent’s house. The grandparents, parents, my hubs and I, his sisters, and occasionally…Uncle Jack and Betty. I can’t remember if this was before or after their tacky wedding (where one of her daughters was coked out of her mind the whole time).

Betty had a habit of talking down to you. She has a PhD, she is a “classically trained pianist” (though she never cared to demonstrate this talent) and a general fucking know-it-all. Granddad hated her immediately. She would take cheap shots at him, coax him like a child during a conversation of differing opinions in which she always believed she was right.

One Sunday lunch, Betty was up to her usual “school the ignorant” routine. Miss prim and proper kept reeling on until finally, granddad had heard quite enough. Right in the middle of a Sonny’s Barbeque chow-down at the dinner table, he turns to J (the youngest sister) and says “She’s as dumb as a sack of bricks!”.

Betty ignored him, after flashing an incredulous look at Uncle Jack. Grandmommy was mortified, the parents snickered and pretended nothing had happened, and the rest of us just guffawed like fools. We had all wanted to say it, and he absolutely did.

Poor Betty.