The sister

I can’t remember when it started. I ask my husband sometimes if he remember what it was like before the downward spiral, and neither of us can even remember the last real conversation we had with granddad.

He’s gone through some peculiar phases. Not that anything about this disease is rational or understandable, but his cycles are so baffling. Some days he’s waiting on grandmommy to come home and gets agitated when we can’t tell him where she is. We just tell him she's at the beach with the cousin of hers that he never cared for. Other days, he’s a young boy waiting for Millie (his eldest sister) to come get him from whatever strange home he’s in this time.

I’ve gathered bits and pieces of granddad’s history from fragmented stories he tells and memories he seems to vividly relive, as if it were presently happening. Granddaddy hails from Akron, Ohio. He had 6 brothers and sisters, all of whom ended up under the care of their sister Millie or the State until an Aunt took some of them in. This was after their mother died at a young age and their father became a full-time alcoholic. To put it in his words: “Dad was a drunk, and mom wasn’t far behind him”. 

He had a special relationship with Millie. When some of his younger siblings went to live with an Aunt, Millie took him in and cared for him until he ended up in the Navy for 2 years in order to get money for school. He ended up in Florida, met grandmommy and married, had three boys all the while attending Florida State University to receive a degree in Business.

He talks about Millie as if she saved his life. He was in and out of various foster homes. The timeline is all weird and I am not sure how it all played out. He talks about some of the families who took him in with a degree of fondness, and others not so much. But, Millie. No one compares to Millie.

“She used to beat the boys up for me. She always looked out for me, Millie did. She took care of us.”

He says things like that about her in different fashions, but it’s always the same message. She took care of him.

He never understands why she isn’t around. He gets upset when she misses dinner. He stays up until past Midnight, waiting for her to come home and get upset when she doesn't. Sometimes, he thinks she’s upstairs tending to “the kids” or “the babies” (even though we live in a single-floor home).

Out of all of the people to remember and hold onto, aside from grandmommy, there has always been Millie.